Bye bye Italian cakey Hello Dave the tart!
by Respect-Sporks
Summary: Set after SITNOP! Masimo's gone off...georgia can only think about "david" and dave is being... well dave. What will happen next? Bad summary! rated T for safety
1. Chapter 1

**Bonjour! heres my first attempt at a Gee nicolson story.**

**Yeah its probs not that good but there you go! hehe**

**Hope you like it!**

**Saturday 17****th**** September**

**Midnight**

I do not believe it. It is so unbelievable that's why.

The luurve god has just reached a number 10 on the having the hump scale, leaving me all aloney on my owney.

Nobody here at all

**2 seconds later**

Apart from some random people who have just started staring at me as though I am a wild animal in a zoo.

Can't they see I am hurting inside right now!

I have quite possible been dumped by a luurve god and I am being stared at like a whatsit.

**1 minute later**

Oh…Masimo seems to have left his handbag behind

**2 minutes later**

Blimey O'Reilly's trousers! What am I saying? Masimo doesn't have a handbag! He is not a lesbian as Dave the laugh says. He is a luurve god.

**1 minute later**

Well… it does look like a handbag. Dave does have a poin-

No it doesn't!

What am I saying?!

**10 seconds later**

Right.

Let's get this straight.

MASIMO DOES NOT HAVE A HANDBAG AS DAVE THE LAUGH SAYS!

**1 minute later**

Dave is a bad influence.

I have to call him David.

It sounds more serious. He'll have to drop the whole laugh thing now because lets face it, David the laugh does not fit at all. Haha oh I do crack myself up sometimes. I do thank our lord Sandra for my excellent sense of humour even in the baddest of bad situations. Hahahaha

**2 minutes later**

I've just possible been dumped by a luurve god. Dear god!

**1 minute later**

"Gee"

I turned round to see Jazzy Spazzy and the ace gang standing behind me- minus Rosie who was currently doing wild dancing with Sven in the corner.

"You ok?" Jas said

"I mean errr.. you… well you.. he just sort of…" Ellen attempted to say

"Some time this century Ellen"

"Well you know… you…and… he just err… well"

Sigh… oh Ellen. Will you ever be able to complete a sentence?

"Jas, if you are wondering how I am doing, not well really. Masimo has got the mega hump with me and David is randomly stuck in my mind." I told her all cool like and what not.

"Who's David?" Mabs asked

"Oh that's Dave…he is a bad influence" I told her

They all nodded like nodding things.

I told them about what Dave has been up to with me- Oo-er- and how he keeps going on about Masimo having a handbag.

"Well Gee… it does look like a handbag now that I think about it." Jas said

Ah _merci beaucoup_ Jas. _Merci_ indeed

**01:15am**

Sitting in my room all alone again.

Oh Masimo, why oh why did you have to have the mega hump with me. We've only been dating a month. You were my yummy Italian cakey and no I have possibly lost you…I am now back in the bakery of love and have taken back my cake. The bakery of love has now magically turned into the bakery of aggers again.

I seem to be in there a lot recently.

**1 second later**

I will never ever sleep now.

I am too full of pain and sadness that sleep will never come.

I am doomed to stay awake all my- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**10:45am**

**In my bed of pain**

Sigh…

I'm looking back on yesterday's events.

If I never went yesterday none of this would have happened and I would never have done the twist with David.

**1 minute later**

Right that's it!

No more talk about Dave the laugh! I seem to be talking about him an awful lot recently. Ooh! Phone's ringing! I bet it's Masimo ringing to say sorry.

**30 seconds later**

It was Jas

"Gee is that you?"

"No Jas it's the queen of England. She thought it would be nice to give me a visit in her spare time. You know, when she's not queening"

"Georgia, the Queen doesn't queen. She rules.

"I know Jas isn't she awesome!"

And then she hung up on me

**1 minute later**

Jas rang back

"Sorry Gee, you annoyed me a bit"

Oh how lovely

"Anyway Jas, do you think Masimo still luurves me? I mean he walked off in a bit of a huff"

"I dunno Gee…I mean you did do the twist with Dave"

"Jas, that was simply because…you know he asked me to"

"But you didn't have to say yes"

"I did"

"You didn't"

"I did"

"You didn't"

"Look, Jas I'd love to stay and chat but the door bell is ringing and it may be Masimo. Tatty Bye!"

That'll show her!

**3 minutes later**

The door bell actually has rung…maybe I'm becoming mystic meg.

I wonder what it would be like to be a psychic. Personally I think it would be a bit strange, you know, you knowing everything all the time.

But I suppose you wouldn't go somewhere dressed as a stuffed olive if you knew what would happen…

Right the door bell…off I plod like a plodding thing.

Oh I hope it isn't Masimo at the door actually… I'm still in my Teletubby PJs and personally it isn't really a good look when there's an Italian Stallion at the door.

**1 minute later**

Dear _gott _in _himmel _it was Masimo!

"Err Hi… I mean Ciao Masimo…"

"Ah Georgia… I must be asking. How do you say this in English…Are you and your _friend _Dave, how you say… dried fruit?"

I certainly hope me and Dave and dried fruit! It would be vair awkward going to school…

"Masimo… I'm not sure if I understand…"

Oh wait! He means dates! Oh right….that makes it easier…

"Oh wait! You mean dates! Oh haha… well no…he's just a mate. I think…"

No Georgia! Don't think!

When you think everything goes wrong! Like the stop in the name of PANTS! Situation.

"Cara… what do you mean by…when you say you think?"

Oooh Georgia think of something!

**1 second later**

Wait… that just contradicts what I just said COMPLETELY….

Right I never said "don't think" mon pallies

**2 seconds later**

Right where was I? right… oh yeah think Georgia think!

"Well I mean we do snog at times"

Blimey O'Reilly! I did not just say that!

**2 seconds later**

Well obviously I did…

**1 second later**

Oh look just shut up Georgia. You are in a serious situation at this point.

You have just let slip that you and David do 'accidental' snogging

**10 seconds later**

Which are sooo good. Yummy scrumbos nip libbling

**1 second later**

Wait… I'm thinking about David again aren't I?

Right No more thinky about Davey and his _fantastique _nib libbling.

**2 seconds later**

Still not thinking about David

**3 seconds later**

Wait… by not thinking about David I'm thinking about him right?

God what am I doing?!

There is a luuurve god at the door who I have just told I do 'accidental' snogging with David too and I'm rambling on about not thinking about him!

In the name of our lord Sandra what am I doing?!

"Cara… I…I don't thinking I understand. You and this Dave. You say you are not dating and yet, and yet you do passionate kissing with him?"

Oh no… here I go….i can feel myself checking into heartbreak hotel!

"Georgia… I do not think I can do this anymore. We are not right you each other as you may say in English. I'm sorry cara. Maybe we can be friends?"

And then I shut the door in his face and ran upstairs blubbing like a blubbing thing

* * *

**Well what did you think?**

**Is it ok?**

**Anyway please review then i can know what to improve and what not hehe**

**Hopefully see you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oooh its been a while since an update has it not?**

**Anyway... not the best chappie in my opinion bt its alright hehe... hope you like it! :D**

**12:00pm**

**In my bed of pain…again…**

I have now been blubbing for 2 hours. I feel like nothing in the world can cheer me up ever.

I have just told the luuurve god that I have bee snogging David…. Oh giddy god why did I do it. Does the Big G hate me?

Maybe this is his plan- for me to live alone with 26 cats.

I'm already on my way, I have 2.

**30 seconds later**

And one of them has cross eyes…not that that makes a different

I think I will become a crazy cat lady. That way I won't have to think about love or aggers ever again. Just me and my cats

**10 seconds later**

But oh imagine the fleas!

**2 minutes later**

Meh…we could all have fleas together because we wont have to worry about our appearance any more. I'll go _au natural._

**3 seconds later**

Well… maybe a bit of lippy now and then… maybe some foundation too. Just a smidge though…

**2 minutes later**

I wonder if David likes the _au natural _look… hmmm…

**1 minute later**

…god… I'm thinking about Dave again…

Why do I keep thinking about him!

I mean yeah…I guess he is pretty awesome and his sense of humour is beyond marvy!

Well it has to be because he is Dave the Laugh…

…why do I keep rambling… oh I dunno…

Right what was I doing… oh yeah talking about how groovy David is…

**5 minutes later**

My bed of pain has now turned into a bed of confusment…

Oh David…why did you have to get into the fisticuffs at dawn fandango, why did you have to be so errr PANTSish…why did I have to love you?

**10 minutes later**

Wait… what did I say?

Did I just say I loved David…

I couldn't have because… its just not errr… possible…

I mean ha…me and Dave?

Dave the laugh and Georgia?

I may have to call Jazzy Spazzy again

**1 minute later**

Apparently not…

She's on a ramble with Tom and, quoting her Mutti here:

"When she gets back she's sorting out her underwear draw and wildlife toys"

Yeah Jas is a brillopads best mate.

I called Ro-Ro instead

"Ro-Ro?"

"Ja, it is me"

"Oh good… listen I think I may-"

And then came the squelching noises

"Rosie… you still there?"

"JA JA GROOVE ON!!"

And then came the squelching again

"Gee…Sven says hi"

"…Hi Sven. Right err...Rosie listen, me and Masimo…_c'est fini!_"

"_Non!_"

"_Oui!_"

"_Non!_"

"_Oui!_"

"_Non!_"

"_Oui! _And now I can't stop thinking about David!"

"Still calling Mr laughy laugh David then?"

"Yep"

"I see"

There was then a long pause

"Rosie haveth you got your pip and put on your beard?"

"Ah Gee you know me too well… you want me to call the whole of the Ace gang and meet at usual place?"

"Ah please Ro-Ro… this is a confusment emergency!"

"I see… _Au revoir_!"

And she hung up, leaving me to rush upstairs and get ready

**12:30pm**

**Getting ready in room**

Hmm… apply a little lippy, bit of mascara… touch of foundation.

I'm vair lucky the mad family have gone out for a trip in the clown car. I'm actually being left alone to get ready for once…no Libby, no Mutti and no Vati…ah life is good for once

**2 minutes later**

Spoke to soon…

The swiss family mad have arrived again

The front door suddenly slammed open

"GINGER! GINGER WHERE IS YOU!!"

Oh no!

And then my bedroom door rushed open like a rushing thing!

"THERE YOU ARE GINGEY!! HERE ANGUS WANTS KISSIES!"

And she threw Angus at my face and ran out doing her 'heggy heggy ho' laugh.

"Ah Georgia, you should have came with us," Mutti came in saying

"Mutti, to be honest, I wouldn't come out with you even if I found out Dave the laugh was going"

Oh great, there I go again. Get ready Georgia, here comes to boy talk from mum.

"Dave the laugh? Oh you mean your friend dave. He's quite the handsome one isn't he? Oh if I were a few years younger I would certainly-"

"Ok Mutti! Bye now, I need to errr…be off laughing on a fast camel. Toodle pip!"

And I pushed her out the door.

**10 seconds later**

Hold on a minute…

Did Mutti call David handsome?

Blimey O'Reilly!

Mutti's got a crush on David! I wonder if he feels the same.

I mean he did say he quite liked her once…

But then again he said the Queen was his girlfriend…

Grr! I'm thinking of David again…

I really need to speak to the Ace gan-

SANDRA'S PANTIHOSE! THE ACE GANG MEETING!

Ah!! Run run!!

**12:45**

**Running for my life!!**

Pant! Pant!

Didn't have time to do all my makeup…I bet I look awful…

Meh…I'll go semi- _au natural _

**5 minutes later**

Ah… reached the gang- minus Jas who is tidying her 'wildlife toys'…

Who are now giving me strange looks.

"Err…Gee…why are you…well you know, kinda…err… in…. well…"

I think Ellen should do some training…to get rid of the stuttering. But then again, its vair funny…but annoying

"I think what Ellen is trying to say is…right what's the best way to put this…Why are you like, wearing Teletubby PJ's?"

I then looked down at myself and then realised that I was, in fact, out and about, in my Teletubby PJ's

"Oh Giddy Gods Pyjamas!" I said, the Ace Gang all laughed like laughing things on laughing tablets.

**1 minute later**

The Ace gang are still laughing at me and its getting vair annoying.

I might just say I went out in the PJ's to make a statement…that the errr teletubby's aren't respected enough

"Well _excuse moi _but the only reason I did this was to make a statement that the teletubby's aren't respected enough. Anyway about the Dave the Laughy Laugh situation" I said all casual like

Oh great, Ellen's perked up just because I mention David- tight I'm calling him Dave again… its getting annoying now.

**10 seconds later**

I wonder if Ellen still likes Dave?

Wait she can't because she has a kinda boyfriendy type person. She has got the particular horn-with a possible little bit of red bottomossity showing.

**1 minute later**

Well I know for sure he doesn't like her, because he has Emma…and luurves me…Hmm… a bit of a threesome going on there…

**3 seconds later**

Oh don't be so rudey dudey! I simply meant that there are 3 of us…so technically it's a threesome…

Great…now the more I say threesome the more rudey dudey threesome seems…

**1 second later**

Ooer…

**1 minute later**

Anyway were was I? Oh right, Ellen perking up and me explaining about Dave/David/Whatever you want to call him

"So tell me Miss Nicolson" Rosie said, stroking her beard as she did so

"Ro-Ro, tell you what? You kinda stopped there like a stopping thing"

"Oh right," She then got her pipe and blew into it, "Tell me, why are you thinking about Dave/David?"

Has she not been listening to me at all?! You know… that cat option seems to be getting better and better every day. I can actually see it working.

"Ro-Ro, have you not listened to me? I said I didn't know why I am thinking about him- that is why we are having this meeting"

You know… for a meeting nobody seems to be doing a lot. Mabs and Jools are talking about boys and lipgloss and what not and Ellen is being well… Ellen.

"You know," Mabs finally spoke up,"Maybe you should talk to Dave about this…"

"Mabs, what good would talking to Dave be?"

"A whole lot better than us" she said again and they all nodded like nodding things.

Oh what mavy friends I have

**4:00pm**

I am now back at home, debating whether to call Dave since the Ace gang where no help at all…

**2 seconds later**

You know what, I'm going to call him…

**Downstairs by the phone**

Here I go, dialling the number….

Its ringing….

Still ringing…

Uncle eddies here….

**1 second later**

UNCLE EDDIES HERE?!

Hang up Georgia hang up!

"Hello… Jack the biscuit from biscuit land here"

Too late, Dave's pick up the phone

"Oh err… hi Dave"

"Oh KittyKat, listen you know I said I thought phone sex cheapens things? Well i've decided I'd kinda make an exception for you _sexkitty_-"

"Dave it's not about that"

"Oh… I was quite looking forward to it too… Anyway, what is it you need from the vati?"

He is so vain it's unbelievable… but he does make me laugh

"Well you see… Masimo…he…"

And then I started blubbing.

"Right, I'm going to get round there as fast as my Camel can get me there…Toodle pip!"

**2 minutes**

Oh why am I such a blubber?

I seem to be doing that a lot today…

Oh Masimo… My luurve god… why did I have to tell you about me and Dave…sigh

"Hey Gee! I want to see part of my act?"

Dear _gott _its Uncle Eddie… in my room, parading around in his undercrackers like some parading thing.

Well at least he isn't doing the thrusting…

**2 seconds later**

AHHHH! MY EYES!!

Eww… I will never get rid of this image again. It will be stuck in my head for all eternity now.

"Uncle Eddie… you are vair rudey dudey and I will appreciate it if you would get your Baldy- O-Gram self out of my room right now!" I said

"Fine… I'll show your mum…" And then he went.

**10 seconds later**

I will never understand what my mum finds amusing about him…Because he is not funny at all…

I wonder where Dave is?

He said he would be here quickly… well as fast as his Camel could get him here…

Are Camels fast creatures? Hmm…

**10 minutes later**

Still waiting for- KNOCK KNOCK

Dave!

Right, running downstairs…

**2 seconds later**

Running back up, still in Teletubby PJ's.

Changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that has a picture of a cat on it…

Get it? KittyKat?

Oh you people just don't appreciate my humour!

Right, makeup… touch of lippy, eye shadow, mascara. There you go, that's my _au natural _look.

Running back down.

**30 seconds later**

Opening the door... Now!

"Hi Dave, was your Camel slow?" Is what I tried to say but I got interrupted at your because his lips pressed onto mine.

**10 seconds later**

Yummy Scrumbos…

Nip libbing…

* * *

**Hmmm so what do you think?**

**hmm i dunno... i think i like this one but i'm not sure... meh i'll leave it up to you :D**

**Review please.. with cherrys on top...**

**if not i'll set Sven on you... MWHAHAHA!! :D**


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